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Promenading on the Fine Line

Monday, January 30, 2017 @ 1:45 AM
Don't go.

Please don't leave, J. I love you so fcking much, and yet, I'm not sure if you even have the slightest idea.

We met when I was at my best. When I diligently rose from my own independence, when I glowed from within.
You took a chance on me, and took care of me when I was stressed out from finals, when we barely knew each other, unconditionally.
We danced, we cried, and held each others' hands, and we grew.
You were there at my worst, when I contemplated leaving this world, when I couldn't leave my bed, when I didn't believe in myself. When I felt so useless, when I felt I was doing more harm than good to the closest people in my life.
You were still there by my side when my mind turned numb for weeks on end, numb from being repeatedly tossed and thrown around.

You did so much for me, and I feel like I didn't return the favor much. But you still continued to provide so much care and thought with your actions, no matter how absent I was. My favorite aspect of you is your continuous love, optimism, and cheerfulness you bring no matter how hard life gets. Simple minded, yet extremely passionate about the world, about the people you work with, and the work that you do. Your passion is what I love coming home to every day. You bring smiles and laughter home, and dance with joy like nobody's watching.

Not to mention, you are the cutest badass chick around who finds enjoyment in the seemingly mundane moments with me. I love you, so so much. My heart cringes at the slightest thought of you leaving in a few months. I will miss your sunshines and rainbows, and the commonalities we had together. I will miss your random comments when you watch shows. I will miss your meows and merps and burps. I will miss your unconditional love.

After seeing so many facets of me, from viewing me so highly to watching me crash and burn, you still consider me your unicorn. That, I am forever grateful for.

Long distance is scary, but I hope I can still maintain this precious bond with you. I love you, ma cherie.