To the friends who know the shipwreck going on in my life, who continuously check up on me and take care of me despite their hectic midterm/project/org schedule, who makes sacrifices and attend to me first and place others second, thank you for being in my life. I couldn't have asked for such a loyal friendship, and I swear I don't know what I did to deserve you.
To the friends who don't know the shit I'm going through and still continue to reach out to me on multiple occasions (even when I don't), you keep my dreary thoughts at bay with your warm company; thank you.
To the "friends" who especially know what shit I'm going through and don't even bother when I prioritized you over others and when I was by your side unconditionally when YOU were going through shit, screw you. Go ahead and continue with your fun living the ignorant life; I don't need you anymore. So much for confiding in you.
When will I ever learn? I foolishly believed you all were exceptions; I should have known the outcomes are all the same. I'm tired of this happening to me so frequently; I'm done. I'm done giving the benefit of the doubt. Screw people. Screw people and their facades.
Sorry, I'm a little bitter. Sorry for being very irresponsible/unresponsive and very lackluster lately. I can't focus. I've lost all motivation to do anything; to talk, to socialize, to study. Midterm and paper due this upcoming week, and here I am dying in my own filth I've created.
On the bright side, I know at the end, I will definitely come out much stronger than I was before.
Labels: major vent