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Promenading on the Fine Line


Thursday, March 27, 2014 @ 4:43 AM
Much wander.

I don't know why I continue to keep trying with you when all it gives me is more pain & suffering when I am reminded of the love and attention you give to others. What happened to us? I am so much more mindful of you, but I feel and know it's not fully reciprocated.
But I do blame myself though. I know I should try harder, but it is so much harder for me now since we've grown so different apart. We now have different priorities and believe in different things; it is difficult to interact when we are so preoccupied with our current life and our current friends. We both are so enthused of what's going on in the present and in our own separate circle of friends, that oftentimes we get caught up in the moment and tend to forget those in the background. I understand, but at the same time I am sad, but too busy to rekindle appropriately--to give you what you deserve. What should I do...

I've been trying to fill in this void, but it hasn't been going well. Too much work & stress on my plate to develop deeper friendships. I can't even handle the capacity of communicating with my close friends from back at home and it kills me inside. Why can't I be naturally smart & understand concepts right away so that I have more time for people. It's pretty depressing.

Such sorrow. So deep. Much lost.

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