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Promenading on the Fine Line

Wednesday, May 2, 2012 @ 1:28 AM
Down to the very pit,

down to the very core. I've mainly experienced most of what REACH! has to offer. I even came back several times to Berkeley from USC to attend some of their events. Remarkably dedicated, no?
Truth be told, I had such a fiery passion to apply to be core, to be core for their Retention program specifically. But due to last minute arising problems (curse you chemistry... or maybe not?) I couldn't turn in my application on time.
"Don't worry, we'll maybe open it up! We'll find out this Thursday." Okay. I wait.
"Applications only opened up for Campus Organizer, Let's Rise, and Executive Director." I was crushed. I was seriously at a loss, and it was my birthday night too. It was during my and Tony's Zhabu Zhabu dinner when I found out the cold truth.

I guess, I was really closed off from the world outside of REACH!. At the time, I really didn't know what to do anymore. To console myself, I figured, hey, I suppose I could be an intern again. Let's Rise for my education minor fieldwork? Perhaps? But then I was still saddened at the fact that I don't have to attend the other Bridges and core meetings. I mean... I could still attend them as an intern, but that still wouldn't able to dub me as coordinator. I also wouldn't be able to create the logistics for Retention... To lead the meetings... To plan REACH! events, to further improve the FAM program. I mean, I guess I still could, but then again, my intern status remains the same. Why spend time being an intern once more, when there are so many other internships and opportunities out there I could be investing my full efforts and dedication in?

I began to realize... There's more to it than REACH!. Not saying that I'm leaving it (goodness gracious never in my life!), but stating the fact that there are better things for me and for my resume, that are more beneficial to me. Pre-med societies, other health-related internships, volunteering services, maybe even finding a research position. And then after coping with my loss, to my excitement, I get a message from both of my coordinators that Retention opened up again due to last minute circumstances. What, what, what?! It's my chance to jump at it! Should I?! I have until May 2nd, 11:59PM; interviews will be on May 3rd. Is Buddha really giving me another opportunity? Another chance to redeem myself? What should I do?!
I think, I think, and I think... I already planned out my "alternative" semesters. But, I could continue with my original plan. And so, after some talking, I concluded... As much as I enjoy REACH!'s purpose, maybe it's time for me to let go, and move onto bigger and better things. Suited for me, suited for my future. Of course, I will still remain active in it, but it's time to "expand my horizon," as Justine nicely put it.
There's so much out there, I finally see. I guess I was so overwhelmed and so dedicated with REACH!'s amazing student activity and close knit bonding that comes with it, that it took me a semester break away from it to see there's more to student organizations than REACH!. It's only a matter of my commitment, and how much effort I'm willing to put in to truly get the most out of any organization.

In the very end, I'm still very confused. I thought it was fate's doing, that I wasn't able to be core and spend my long hours of meetings and planning doing something else, but now... I don't know anymore. What does fate have in store for me?