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Promenading on the Fine Line


Tuesday, January 16, 2018 @ 3:46 PM
secretcry

love me, optometry schools, LOVE MEEEEEE

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Sunday, December 24, 2017 @ 6:03 PM
Cheater cheater pumpkin eater

It's nights like these where I am so, so happy to be a strong, independent womyn who can find success, strength, and happiness on her own. It took me a full year to regain my strength, and looking back, what was I thinking? I was so immature, so unreasonable, and so intoxicatingly selfish, it embarrasses me even thinking about what happened. Nevertheless, I'm grateful for the experiences and the maturity I've gained in the process of piecing myself together, so definitely no regrets.

But hey, I'm in a good place in my life right now, and I really can't ask for more.


But the point of this post is to say: fuck infidelity.

Fuck cheaters and the immense pain and suffering they create for their partner. There. is. no. excuse.

You, out of all people in this world, do not deserve all this pain and suffering. I am so, so sorry to hear about your traumatizing experience and the never ending, mad thoughts running through your head. You seriously have one of the most beautiful souls I've ever encountered, and your faithful dedication to underprivileged students never fails to deeply touch my heart. I hope you will find the right choice and peace within yourself. I will keep you in my thoughts, and pray that you'll find the light amongst all this chaos.

Stay strong, and don't let anyone get in the way of your success and happiness. Love you dearly. ♥

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Saturday, December 16, 2017 @ 8:41 PM
Surfacing;

Update: I'm alive and kicking!
I can't express how grateful I am to have such a wonderful support system, even when I don't think I even deserve an ounce of it. I've been focusing so much on myself that sometimes I forget to think about others, so when people give me encouragement out of the blue, it really takes me by surprise.

I'm so excited for this year and the following years; I feel myself growing, learning, and endlessly loving. I can't wait to spread this happiness around and doing what I want to do from now on! :)

tldr; apps are (almost) over and I'm going to have the best year off I can possibly make it ♥

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Sunday, November 26, 2017 @ 2:48 AM
LAJFDKNSDKNG

T MINUS 1 DAY AND I'M ABOUT TO HAVE A FCKING PANIC ATTACK OHMYGODDDDDDADFJSJLNGLJFGNFldkjgknfdjngKJSDNSLKJFNLSDKFJN FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS

MY FUTURE IS ON THE LINE E E EE EE EEEEE

I haven't felt this anxious about anything in such a long time I CAN'T I CAN'T

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Saturday, November 25, 2017 @ 5:19 AM
One day!

It's 5am in the morning, 2 days before my OAT,

and here I am thinking what it would be like to live in Japan.

I juuuust found Rachel & Jun on youtube (I was first drawn into Jun's cooking, which led me to their cats, which led me to them as a couple, hohoho) and it really made me consider to live there for a long period of time! I've been playing around with the thought, especially seeing how Lauren from TH is Chinese/European and was really motivated to learn the language/culture in hopes to live there one day (which she successfully accomplished now).

For the past few months I've been meaning to look into art residency programs in Japan, but that would mean I would really need to be dedicated to my art full time if I want to make an outstanding, competitive portfolio. I've been way too busy trying to get my grad school applications together so I haven't even done an ounce of research... Or, maybe if I get into optometry school, they'll allow my rotations to be stationed in Japan, so that way I can do my thang as a doc AND have a meaningful time there.

Or maybe, I should just find and marry a charming gentleman in Japan; that seems to be the easiest, least stressful option, hehe.

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Thursday, November 16, 2017 @ 8:53 PM
Tubular??

ok so like

I was reviewing/studying up on animal biology
and it just occurred to me

that we are freaking tubes. TUBES. just like worms. we're just complex tubes that grew more layers of tissue around the tube.

mind.

blown.

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Saturday, November 11, 2017 @ 7:12 PM
2:35am

The way back home was cold--it was dark, it was empty. The winds were chilly, and leaves floated by my feet and quickly said hello before landing and resting again. My back was aching from the heavy backpack and my arms tired from lugging the large prep books around. I wanted to drop everything and just. breathe. I looked up into the night sky, and I saw how clear the stars were. Suddenly, I just wanted to lie in the patch of grass beside me and just stare into the their brightness. I watched how slowly the clouds drifted, and how I wished my life could move just as slowly. I'm just so tired. I so desperately wanted to collapse into a deep slumber and never wake up with the stars blanketing my very being. But I can't. Not yet, not yet. You need to do this; you can do this. I drift into this lulling daze every waking moment, tired from the lack of sleep and late nights studying and busy days doing work.

But it's okay. I'll stay alive. Somehow, someway, I'll reignite the spark; just 2 more weeks of hell and then another week of post-hell and then finally I can focus on myself and do everything I've wanted these past few months.

I can't wait for this to be over!
Happiness is a month away T___T


#fighting

PS Happy 11/11; don't forget to make a wish, and wish passionately

thinking of you,
a dreamer

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