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Promenading on the Fine Line


Thursday, November 16, 2017 @ 8:53 PM
Tubular??

ok so like

I was reviewing/studying up on animal biology
and it just occurred to me

that we are freaking tubes. TUBES. just like worms. we're just complex tubes that grew more layers of tissue around the tube.

mind.

blown.

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Saturday, November 11, 2017 @ 7:12 PM
2:35am

The way back home was cold--it was dark, it was empty. The winds were chilly, and leaves floated by my feet and quickly said hello before landing and resting again. My back was aching from the heavy backpack and my arms tired from lugging the large prep books around. I wanted to drop everything and just. breathe. I looked up into the night sky, and I saw how clear the stars were. Suddenly, I just wanted to lie in the patch of grass beside me and just stare into the their brightness. I watched how slowly the clouds drifted, and how I wished my life could move just as slowly. I'm just so tired. I so desperately wanted to collapse into a deep slumber and never wake up with the stars blanketing my very being. But I can't. Not yet, not yet. You need to do this; you can do this. I drift into this lulling daze every waking moment, tired from the lack of sleep and late nights studying and busy days doing work.

But it's okay. I'll stay alive. Somehow, someway, I'll reignite the spark; just 2 more weeks of hell and then another week of post-hell and then finally I can focus on myself and do everything I've wanted these past few months.

I can't wait for this to be over!
Happiness is a month away T___T


#fighting

PS Happy 11/11; don't forget to make a wish, and wish passionately

thinking of you,
a dreamer

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Monday, November 6, 2017 @ 11:10 PM
weeee

pointless update:

ALL MY LETTER OF REC WRITERS OFFICIALLY SAID THEY'LL HAPPILY WRITE ME ONE YISSSSSS MY DAY AND MONTH IS MADEEEEEEEE

no more stressing out about finding science profs to write me letters THIS WAS SO HARD I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU THE DAILY STRUGGS AND CONSTANT WORRY AND THE NEVERENDING "they haven't responded for x hours!! y days! Z WEEKS!!!! should I email them a reminder or would that seem too bothersome or annoying I JUST WANT THEM TO LOVE MEEEE"

my god it's worse than waiting for a text from that crush you like 'cause this time your very future depends on them


(bless their very souls)

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@ 9:45 PM
Vultures.

Moffitt is like a game of musical chairs. All these prized seats--many, hungry students idling around them, waiting for someone, anyone, to randomly get up and then all of our heads turn and aim to claim that coveted seat. No spots are left untouched for more than a hot minute. It's a crazy world in here.

#musings

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Friday, November 3, 2017 @ 3:05 AM
ticktock

Note to self:

When you're rich and can afford to, please invest in either a QlockTwo display or watch (preferably display because there's something rather calming reading the time versus the urgency you feel seeing the numbers).

We were walking through the LA arts district, you and me. We stumbled upon a small boutique and saw a large display of letters that lit up to tell the time in such a pleasing way. Ever since I first laid my eyes on it roughly 4 years ago, I knew I absolutely had to have one in my home. Time is so valuable; fragile yet very concrete. Is it worth the 7k price tag? Possibly so... I guess I'll have to start a savings fund for it when I'm older :P

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Monday, October 30, 2017 @ 10:14 PM
5pm.

So this (qt) patient comes into our office for an eye exam. The doc told me he's a (kinda) recent grad from UCLA and he teaches 2nd graders, and told me to give him a pamphlet on how to help reduce exposure of blue light in young children. We had some lighthearted conversations and after I was done pre-testing him, he asked me, "Have you ever thought about working with children?" and I thought about it for some time, with a little hesitation. Should I tell him the truth or what I should morally say?

Evading the question a little, I explained, "Well, I shadowed an optometrist who specialized in pediatrics for awhile, so we saw a lot of kids; it was an interesting experience, to say the least... But really, I don't think I work very well with children. I'm not stern enough; they'll walk all over me."

"Oh really? Well, you have a really nice, kind voice."

"O-oh, what? Hahaha," I chuckled in embarrassment, cheeks glowing warmer by the second.

"My students get pretty rowdy, so I have to be more tough on them; but they would love you. They love people like you, haha."

@_______@ That's the 2nd time someone complimented me on my voice--idk it always catches me off guard because that's such a weird compliment to give LOL.

but to be real I hate my voice and how monotonous and serious it gets sometimes. YEESH like who likes listening to hella monotonous vocal fry? I try my best to be better and fluctuate my voice in preparation for interviews but sometimes it ends up getting flat. merpmerp. lovemeeeeee

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Sunday, October 29, 2017 @ 9:12 PM
Reminiscing.

It was a cold, gloomy day so we decided to head to a cozy cafe to do work at. We found a very comforting and inviting tea room with an ample study area, and we placed our belongings down to claim our table. We looked up and saw the vast, large selection of eastern teas. The lady in front was so sweet and endearing; she took some time to select some teas based on our preferences. She mainly spoke to him as he spoke in her native language. Speaking in Chinese, he ordered for me and I went to get seated at our table. The steeped tea came out briefly after, and the warmth and earthy taste invigorated my soul. I held the warm cup of tea in my hands, and I quickly glanced up to survey the homey decor of the cafe. All so suddenly, in my peripheral, I believed he was you for a split second. For that brief second, he looked a lot like you; he had a sweater that looked like yours, and he held a sketchbook and pen in his hands. This is something we would have done together; me and my laptop, you and your sketchbook. We would slowly sip on our freshly brewed teas together, enjoying the live acoustic band that was also playing behind us. You would leave a tip, because you always did. From time to time, I would look lovingly into your relaxed gaze, and then the warm, fuzzy feelings would come through. I would think to myself, this moment is pure perfection.

But of course, that didn't happen. Not with him, not with anyone. Only you,

only you.

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